Getting to second base has never felt more urgent

Softball! I haven't played softball since childhood, and was recently coerced onto a coed team which should've been named "the town drunks," because that's apparently how they came up with our roster. Needless to say, we're not very good, but we just play to have fun, and at that we excel. Unfortunately, every other team in the league plays to KICK OUR ASSES. Still fun. Oh, and even getting to first base is a huge thrill again. Literally speaking, of course.