Dream Jobs

I've long said that I aspire to be a reenactor. You know, the actors on shows like "Cops" or "Snapped" who play the parts of victims or perpetrators of real-life crimes? I think I could do this. Wooden acting? Check. Easy lines? Check. I suppose that this job could also entail stints at Civil War battle recreations, but that doesn't sound as fun, and I don't look that good in gray.
Thanks to my friend, Pants, I can add one more job listing to my Dream Jobs list: Surreal Estate Agent. I think I can get this one rolling immediately. For sale: your alternate life, the one where you met your true love in the second grade and bought Apple at $2 and are now a billionare. Must be available for fourth-dimension travel. Call me about viewings.